I was sat in a training intervention late last week, and we were thinking about how to be good at what we want to be good at.
I reflected –
we draw on social norms that we have created that seem acceptable for the space that we live and we occupy but what is it that makes these norms acceptable and useful?
We draw on what is acceptable from our history and our experiences creating a framework. This framework that we create becomes our mantra, one that we either perhaps succeed by or perhaps fail by – that is, we create a ‘standard’ by which to fail by.
Is this framework or standard therefore useful if part of it suggests that there could be an element of failure?
Perhaps what we could do, is delete the element of failure from the framework.
As an example, working with many clients, we often explore confidence. Sometimes we uncover specific and pivotal points in their life that has led them to the insecurity, and then re-frame these pivotal points to reconsider alternative outcomes that could have been achieved – thereby addressing the outcome that they have lived with and addressing the confidence piece…. and this works.
So, how can we think about self managing these thoughts, and the unhelpful frameworks that we build?
I believe that part of the process is to take some time to evaluate what it is that you are working on and what is getting in the way, whilst identifying the things that you are doing and feeling that are both helping this, and also causing distraction. We could then consider whether the distraction is within our control, or not, and adjust the strategy accordingly. Similarly, by considering what we are doing well, by answering the question – “what do I need to do to do even better at this area …”